


Silent as they seem

by disjointed_scribblings



Category: Psy-Changeling - Nalini Singh
Genre: F/M, warning this may be sickeningly sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 12:52:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11486772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disjointed_scribblings/pseuds/disjointed_scribblings
Summary: No one had ever stood by Nikita for her own sake.  They stayed for power, for protection, for economic gain, but not for Nikita.Until Anthony.~Scenes of a relationship emerging from Silence.





	Silent as they seem

It was known Silence of F-Psy could be problematic.Prone to shattering.There was a reason they were kept away from the general population. 

It was known that parenting put a strain on Silence, until the children were advanced enough in the Protocol not to project their emotions with their TP. 

Considering these two factors, it was perhaps unsurprising that Anthony Kyriakus was less than fully Silent. 

He didn’t fear the Council, not for himself.He had been offered a position in his youth, been confident in turning it down.He controlled the most powerful PsyClan in the Net. 

No, when Anthony considered the need to maintain the fiction of total Silence, he saw faces that resembled his own: the face of his sister, Carina, contorted in angst as the madness swept through her; the face of his brother, Leo, as he gazed upon his impossible-to-Silence child; the faces of Faith, Marine, Tanique, so young, so strong, so powerful, so vulnerable. 

No one could be allowed to question the Silence of the man who protected them all. 

* * *

 Before her pregnancy, Nikita’s Silence had been crystalline. 

She could no longer recall the sensation. 

Carrying any mid-to-high-Gradient E-Psy made total Silence impossible for the mother.This data was easy enough to find for someone with Nikita’s resources.But the effects of carrying a Cardinal E were nearly undocumented, and Nikita could not fault her predecessors for being unwilling to share their experiences. 

Prolonged and intimate mental contact with a Cardinal E-Psy had permanently altered not only Nikita’s emotions, but also her psychic signature.It had marked her in every way, not the least important being an intense and abiding protectiveness toward her E child.Even if protecting that child meant causing her pain.Even if it meant that she was lost to Nikita forever. 

And so, Nikita built shield upon shield, Silenced herself in layers of insulating ice. 

* * *

 The cabin at the edge of Tahoe made the most logistical sense as a meeting place.It was secure, believed abandoned, firmly in control of the NightStar PsyClan and Anthony as its head.It also had the benefit of being easily accessible by both Councillor Nikita Duncan and Anthony himself. 

And yet, Anthony couldn’t help but feel that it was dangerous to meet as lethal a woman as Nikita in a place that had been the home of his oldest child, his last remaining daughter, for so long, a place that he had come to associate with the same protectiveness with which he held Faith. 

With a long-serving member of the Psy Council so close at hand, Anthony didn’t even let himself think the word “fondness”. 

* * *

Meeting in person was the mot secure option.  The PsyNet wasn’t safe from the rest of the Council, most especially Kaleb.  Nikita understood this.  But it occurred to her that Anthony was the first person — other than her daughter and most trusted advisors — with whom she communicated more often and more openly in person than psychically or telepathically. 

The only person she saw face to face with any regularity who was her equal, in terms of power, politics, survival. 

It should not have been different than Kaleb teleporting into her office to discuss confidential matters.Both men were Councilors.And yet… 

It could be the wary distance Nikita kept from Kaleb.The psychological impact of having been trained by a violent sociopath was still unknown.It could be the greater number of commonalities she held with Anthony — the geography, the ties to Dark River, the curious balance of protecting a genetic legacy and business asset outside the Net against the rest of Council. 

It could even, she considered, be the difference between Kaleb appearing so instantaneously in Nikita’s office, where so many other meetings took place, and the covert drive out to the abandoned and isolated cabin. 

It certainly wasn’t anything about Anthony himself. 

* * *

“Congratulations,” Anthony said one evening as they concluded their business. 

Nikita looked over coolly.“I beg your pardon.” 

“I understand that you’re now a grandmother.” 

“Your sources are well-informed, as I’m sure you’re aware,” she replied after a moment’s silence. 

“My source is my daughter.It’s important news in DarkRiver.” 

A risk on Anthony’s part.This was one topic they had acknowledged, implied, talked around, but never discussed directly.But he wanted her to allow him through another layer of her shields, was willing to let her all the way into his. 

“Changelings,” said Nikita after another moment, “take the birth of children very seriously, especially the child of an alpha.It won’t be a secret for long.Even if they didn’t want to announce the birth, their protectiveness would make it obvious anyone with even a small amount of understanding of Changeling ways.” 

“Are they really so different from us?” Anthony mused.“Psy can go a long way protecting their genetic legacy.My child Marine, a very promising young telepath, was killed shortly before Faith’s defection.After one such loss, I would — I did — go to great lengths to ensure the safety of my remaining two children.It is, I think, a motive you understand.” 

“My genetic legacy is entirely in the hands of Dark River.” 

There was a note of bleakness under the careful Silence in Nikita’s voice.Anthony touched her shoulder gently, once, and turned to leave. 

If his hand continued to feel her warmth for hours afterward… well, it had been a long time since he’d initiated contact with another person. 

* * *

As she watched Anthony enter her office, Nikita found herself relieved that their alliance still held now that the dust had settled, post-Silence.  Between the two of them and Kaleb — to whom Anthony was now tied in more ways than ever — they could rally their power and build the core of a new and better ruling structure for the Psy.   Besides, there had been a great deal of turmoil in their shared region recently.  Best to present a strong, united Psy front. 

“Anthony.”Nikita didn’t get up from her desk to greet him. 

“Nikita,” he replied, still standing uncertainly near the door.Uncharacteristic behaviour for the former Councillor and longtime head of PsyClan NightStar.He hadn’t mentioned why he wanted to meet this evening, an omission that had not concerned Nikita before this moment. 

“Is there a problem?” 

He crossed the room suddenly then, halting in front of her.This was unusual enough to put Nikita on her guard. 

“Anthony?” she tried again. 

The very last thing she could have predicted he would do was lean over, eyes suddenly gleaming,and run a finger down her cheek. 

Nikita’s skin burned where he touched it.She stood so quickly that her chair fell over, shocked by the sensation.She had had no physical contact other than the clinical touches of M-Psy since, well, since the last time Anthony had touched her. 

“Anthony, what — “

“Nikita, Silence is gone.The PsyNet is flooding with emotionCan we finally be honest with each other?” 

“I don’t know what you mean.”Nikita took a step backward.But only one.She had never let herself be intimidated and she did not intend to start today. 

“Come, Nikita, for years we’ve worked together, formed an alliance, even a connection, based on our mutual interests and mutual respect.Lately that connection, that respect, has deepened for me, and I thought for you as well.” 

What was he saying? Nikita held up a hand.“Stop.” 

Anthony obeyed. 

What was this, a misguided attempt to find and exploit a weakness?Did Anthony think that they’d been allied long enough that she would — well. 

He hadn’t moved since she stood.His face was impassive now — maybe it had been the whole time, maybe it was only the rays of the setting sun glinting in his eyes that had made her think otherwise. 

“You’ve become confused,” she said, slowly but with a cold and perfect lack of intonation.“Because I have supported and protected Psy who were not Silent, because I have advocated for the end of Silence, you have convinced yourself that I am not Silent.But you’re mistaken.I have been Silent for too long to be anything else, and besides, Silence suits me.” 

“I would have believed that completely the first time I met you.But anyone who has heard you speak about Sascha—“

How could he? 

“Oh, I see now.”She was filled with ice.Nothing but ice.Ice so cold it burned her up inside.“After the disintegration of the Council, you only needed me as your ally because we both wanted to eliminate the Protocol while keeping this region safe.Now that Silence has fallen and DarkRiver is peaceful, you have no need of me and you seek to find and exploit my vulnerabilities, get me out of the picture so that you’re the sole powerful Psy in the region.Unfortunately for you, you are incorrect once again.I have no vulnerabilities.Now, please leave.” 

Anthony didn’t confirm or deny her accusation, but he also didn’t leave.He held her gaze until she lost her nerve and ‘pathed Sophia to invent an urgent business matter and have Anthony removed immediately. 

At their next meeting, it became clear to Nikita that objection to the stringency of the Silence Protocol had been the one issue uniting her to Anthony.Now that Silence had fallen, their only shared priority was the safety of Northern California… and neither needed the other to achieve it.

* * *

After having agreed with Nikita politically for so long, to be on opposing sides was disconcerting, to say the least.  It had been months since he had tested another layer of her shields, and they still weren’t speaking. 

“Anthony seems the most… human of us,” Nikita had said at the meeting where they’d decided that he would be the public face of the Ruling Coalition, and she’d said it with the bite of insult. 

Their opinions and interests hadn’t diverged greatly in the past months, despite what Nikita wanted to believe.Her determination to oppose him — her refusal to look him in the eye — her need, her ability to insult him — they all suggested that Nikita was not nearly as Silent as she claimed. 

It gave Anthony hope.Enough hope even to take any sting out of the intended insult. 

If Anthony had had a little more courage, he’d have ‘pathed her, right in the middle of the meeting. _Are you interested in seeing just how human I can be?_ he might have said, or _Is that a challenge to bring out_ your _human side, Nikita?_  

But one rejection was enough for now.Anthony would bide his time until Nikita was ready to admit she wasn’t as Silent as she seemed. 

* * *

> _“I’ll make sure you’re safe. Go under.”_
> 
> _“Pain is nothing.”_
> 
> _“If I wanted to kill you, all I’d have to do right now is rupture your healing wounds.You’re too weak to stop me.”_
> 
> _“Why did Sophia allow you in here?”_

_—Shards of Hope_

* * *

 Nikita spent a good deal of her recovery time thinking about Anthony’s promise to protect her. 

A part of her — the rational part — understood that he wouldn’t harm her.Beyond their established trust, he was a principled man, one driven by his values more than any ambition.He was… _good_.Nikita wasn’t, but she understood the concept well enough to know that Anthony wouldn’t harm her unless she was harming someone else. 

Which made it all the more confusing that he claimed to feel respect and and a connection for her, with the implicit undertone that he cared.For her.Nikita Duncan, who had murdered and blackmailed her way to the top of the Council food chain.That she’d murdered and blackmailed in part to protect her daughter didn’t lessen the impact of what she’d done. 

That very protectiveness led to the irrational part of her being convinced that Anthony meant some kind of harm.It was a paradox.If Nikita were really and truly Silent, she would of course listen to her rational side and assume Anthony meant no harm.But she couldn’t make herself really believe it, even knowing that failing to do so put paid to her Silent facade. 

* * *

> _After the call to Sascha, she made one to Anthony, using every tool at her disposal to keep the discussion strictly to Coalition business.It was more difficult than it should’ve been.Not only because Anthony had a razor-sharp intellect and a will as strong as her own, but because he’d somehow neutralized her defences without doing a single aggressive act._
> 
> _A man, that powerful, that icily ruthless when the occasion called for it, who hadn’t eliminated her from the chessboard while she’d been wounded and defenseless?One who’d actually protected her?_

_—Allegiance of Honor_

* * *

 Nikita still wasn’t taking her recovery as seriously as she should.She tended to treat it as a minor inconvenience and live her life unchanged as much as possible. 

Then again, Anthony reflected, perhaps it hadn’t changed her much.She, after all, had not spent the worst hours of her life at that hospital, eaten with worry and fear, contemplating a future alone.That had been Anthony.Nikita had been unconscious the entire time. 

_Sleep_ , he ‘pathed to the woman who, according to her top aide, had nearly brought herself to collapse. _I’ll make sure you’re safe._

_I can keep myself safe_ , she replied, her mental voice ‘tasting’ of sleep already. _I’m in my apartments in the Duncan building.Are you casting aspersions on my security…_

Her mental voice faded as she apparently succumbed to slumber. 

On the PsyNet, Anthony found her bright, fascinating mind, added layers of nearly imperceptible shields over her own.On the mental level, he reached out with his telepathy — they were both strong TPs, the mental channel between them well-worn — and bolstered her shields there as well.It helped that, on the physical level, he was on his way towards her, had been even before he’d received Sophia Russo’s message. 

Nikita could, and did, keep herself safe.So many assassination attempts had been made against her that it wasn’t surprising that one had eventually come close.But Anthony would feel better being nearby.He could claim a spare office and work out of the Duncan building for a while. 

* * *

Nikita awoke hungry. 

No, she corrected herself mentally as soon as she was conscious enough to do so.She awoke aware that her body needed nutrients. 

She pulled herself slowly to her feet and made her way to the kitchen for a glass of water and a nutrition bar.Taking a second bar to eat at her desk, she made her way over to her private office — and froze. 

Anthony was stretched out asleep on the sofa in her sitting room. 

When she could move again, Nikita made her way over to the chair across from Anthony and sat down, watching him. 

It was a sign of trust, surely, that he would allow himself to be so vulnerable in her presence.Not just her presence — in her _space_.Where she had total control.He slept deeply and peacefully in the sitting room of a lethal and ruthless former Councillor as though he had nothing to fear. 

Unless he wasn’t really sleeping. 

_Anthony?_ she telepathed, and felt his mind wake up.So he had truly been asleep. 

“Nikita.”Seeing her he sat up, cleared his throat.“How are you?The pain?” 

“Much improved,” she said, honestly. 

She should ask him why he was here, demand to know whether it was Sophia or Max who had let him in.But she didn’t want to spoil this quiet moment, so instead she offered, “Would you like a nutrition bar?” 

Anthony looked at her assessingly for a moment.“You need it more than I do. We could share.Come sit over here.” 

Before she knew what she was doing, she had crossed the room, was lowering herself down next to him.She broke the nutrition bar in half and passed him a piece.For a few minutes they sat side by side, eating in silence. 

“Why are you here?” she asked finally. 

“I did tell you I would keep you safe.”Anthony’s tone was tinged with something Nikita thought might be irony. 

“The only thing that’s making me unsafe right now is that my chief of security let a member of the Ruling Coalition, a powerful, ruthless man, my rival in fact, into my private rooms while I was sleeping.” 

Anthony’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly.“I’m not your rival, Nikita.I’m your ally.Your… your friend, even.” 

Friend. 

The ice that had been gathering in her veins receded slightly. 

“I have many enemies,” she said.And no friends, she implied. 

It didn’t put him off.“Then if you accept my friendship they’ll be my enemies as well, and we’ll be stronger together.” 

“I may have accepted that you mean me no harm, Anthony, but that doesn’t mean you should fight my battles for me.” 

“I have my own battles to fight,” he reminded her.“But I want to be beside you while you fight yours.” 

Nikita didn’t know what to say. 

“We can help and support one another while we fight our battles.Come home every night to someone who understands.I’ve never known anyone as driven, as intelligent, as fiercely determined as you.I want you in my life.” 

His words were so unexpectedly beautiful that Nikita felt herself melting even though she knew she shouldn’t.

“You have your own people to protect, Anthony.And you’re respected as a good man, one with morals.Values.I’m not a good person, and everyone knows I’m a relic of the old Council.You don’t want my enemies.” 

“Well, most of the world is already aware that we’ve acted as allies in the past,” he said drily.“Besides, I brought a good amount of luggage with me. I haven’t unpacked yet in case you have me escorted from the premises, but I want to stay.I mean it when I say I want to be near you.” 

“Anthony!” 

No one had ever stood by Nikita for her own sake.Not even her daughter.They stayed for power, for protection, for economic gain, but not for Nikita. 

Until now.Until Anthony. 

He didn’t need power, or protection.He was already her equal in those areas, and he was probably wealthier than she was to round it all off. 

Once she accepted that he truly didn’t want to eliminate her — the only reason he would stay by her side was that the wanted to be there. 

As he had all those months ago, Anthony reached out and drew a finger down her cheek.“You can lean on me, Nikita.” 

She suppressed a shiver.Strange, it wasn’t cold in this room.In fact, it was rather warm.“I can’t.” 

“No one needs to know but us.” 

“I’ve never leaned on anyone, Anthony.Even if I wanted to, I’m not sure I know how.” 

His lips moved slightly.Was that the beginnings of a smile?She was so distracted by her analysis of his facial expression that she didn’t realize until too late that he was putting his arm around her shoulders. 

The warm weight of him was a shock.Nikita instinctively leaned away, but there was strength there too, and his arm refused to let her move back. 

“Anthony?” 

“Try it now.Just lean on me.” 

She wanted to do it.That was the surprising thing.Why did she want to?Slowly, unsure of her own motives, her intentions, Nikita shifted until her side was pressed up against his, until she could rest her head against his shoulder.His arm came with her, holding her tight against him.She was surrounded by warmth, by Anthony.Shockingly, the pain and the exhaustion started to recede. 

“That’s better,” said Anthony. 

“It’s an experiment, certainly,” Nikita shot back, not wanting to give the appearance that she was giving into him so easily. 

His response was to brush his lips over the top of her head.Nikita froze, unable to process the sensation. 

“I’m sure you’re aware by now that I’m a very stubborn man, Nikita, and now that you’ve let me in I intend to stay exactly where I am.” 

“We’ll see,” she said, as coldly as she could manage the warmth blossoming inside her. 

* * *

Once again, Anthony was right. 


End file.
